When You Look at Your To-Do List, Do you Recoil in FEAR?

When you think about getting organized, you need to have an idea of WHAT you’re organizing. Our tasks and responsibilities usually come from our areas of responsibility. 

We usually have several areas of responsibility. Taking the time to sit down and define those roles and your responsibilities within them is a wonderful jumping off point for figuring out how to organize and play your day. 

Roles might include: wife, mother, daughter, friend, niece, aunt, grandmother, employee, boss, teacher, neighbor, church member, and, of course, insert your name here. Remembering to include yourself as one of your roles is an important step to scheduling time and meaningful renewal for yourself on a regular basis.

Next to think about are the roles that come up that we are only in for just a day or a few weeks or maybe a few months. It’s there and important, but we know that role won’t last forever. Some of these might be PTA member, volunteer for an event, club organizer, special event coordinator, or even giver of a meal for a neighbor in need.

Because these secondary roles are short term, sometimes we put more priority for them in our lives than we really intend to. We have a deadline, plan and action items for these roles and so they are easier to define and set tasks for. 

It can be much more difficult to set up tasks for mothering…..mostly because it’s hard to schedule to have that special one-on-one time with a child and have the stars align where they will actually talk to you and no one else will need you. 

However, when we define what are the most important things for us to feel happy in those roles, we CAN break down what we want into doable tasks and consistently have a plan to move forward in our goals.

A few examples:

As a mother of four young children, it has often felt like more work to set up a babysitter, organize everything for bedtime and get dressed up to go out with my husband than it often seems worth. For many years I had a rotating task on my list to “plan a date with Ben”. This was great because I would remember this was important to me in the midst of "life" and we would talk about and plan fun things to do, even though they were very often happening after the kids were in bed and we could just stay home. But, it was a step towards strengthening our relationship and that’s what matters. (This year we made a goal to actually get a sitter and go out once a month. That’s a HUGE goal for us, but one we’re both excited about. I still have the rotating task to “plan a date with Ben”.)

Another example of setting up tasks for my truly important-to-me roles: 

We have a few elderly, single ladies living next to us. And while they are wonderful to visit with and my kids enjoy seeing them, sometimes it’s hard to remember that they are there and maybe needing to be checked on more than every few months. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busy, that sometimes several weeks have gone by before I realize how long it’s been. Every other week I put a rotating reminder for me to “check on Martha” and “check on Mildred”. Sometimes this is sending dinner over with one of my kids or making a phone call. Sometimes I physically walk over and visit. Whatever I do, I know I can do what I have time and energy for and still not forget these sweet ladies. As a neighbor, this is a priority to me, but I’m human and that’s okay. This little trick for things that don’t really have a definite “to-do” attached is helping me change some things. First, it helps me remember things that I truly value, but sometimes am not that great at; and second, I don’t have to feel guilty or sad whenever I drive by and realize that I can’t remember how long since I checked on them.

What are some of your roles and responsibilities?

When you look at your list, do you recoil in fear or recognize it as a tool to help you achieve your goals and dreams? Remember, it's your friend and brain organizer, not your task-master. 




Grab some blank paper and start dumping out everything that's on your brain. It's helpful to group each role on a different piece of paper. There may be things that come to mind that you would like to get off your brain but there isn't a logical place you can see to put it. Write those things down on a separate piece of paper. 
Some ideas to get you started: (remember to only write down those things that are relevant to you)

Mother - AKA Miracle Worker

Clean the house – delegate and teach jobs to children -
            sweep, mop, vacuum, baseboards, bathrooms, clean tables and chairs, pick up house, dust, make beds, wash dishes, wipe counters, clean kitchen, etc.

Buy the food

Cook the food

Meal plans

Budget

One-on-one dates with children

Wash, dry, iron, fold, put away clothes

File papers/clean off desk

Errands that need to be run

Home repairs

Decorating

Projects
Doctor/dentist appointments 

Wife

Plan date nights

Make sure I do something for me a couple times a week so I can focus on husband and children

Text husband “thinking of you” texts

Vacation plans

Self

Block out time on calendar for rest and renewal for myself -
            Journal, bubble bath, pedicure/manicure, read, play piano, paint, go for a walk, exercise, bike ride, lunch with girlfriends, sew, crochet, nap, decorating/organize an area for me, listen to music, garden, sunshine, swim, bake/cook, movies, scrapbook/blog, etc
Projects

Doctor/dentist appointments 

Work

Errands
Projects 

Commitments

Volunteer Responsibilities
Projects
Commitments

Phone calls/emails to make and send

Daughter

Call parents

Write email or letters

Send birthday cards

Call on mother’s and father’s days and birthday

Sister

Email, call, or text siblings

Send birthday cards and/or gifts

Call on birthdays

Neighbor

Friend