Child Clutter

I'm going to be open in this post. You are going to see things that I am not sure I should share. But I feel that if I show perfect pictures right after I organize something, it just will not truly show the way things are the other days.

We all have clutter that we want to hold on to. Some of us love clearing out more frequently, but we all have it, somewhere. 

Children are just little versions of us. They have things that are special to them, even though we cannot figure out how that chewed-on straw could possibly be worth a second thought. But, here's the thing: children have relatively little control over their things. Or their lives. They are told what to do and where to go and how loud they can be and, and, and. My children are no exception. I expect things of my children. I expect they clean up after themselves, help with the meals and kitchen clean-up, help with regular and impromptu chores, do their best in school, practice the piano, do their homework, study for tests, be kind to their siblings, show respect to adults, and eat the food I put in front of them. I expect that they behave and keep themselves clean-ish. 

So, out of all these things I expect of them, I have come up with a plan to allow them to sometimes make choices for themselves without me hovering. I think that sometimes adults could lower their stress levels while at the same time teaching children about respect and teamwork. 

I am not an expert on this, but when I explain to my kids why I expect certain things and why they are not allowed to use my entire house as a dumping ground without regard for the other people living here, things do seem to go better. 

I do not have all the answers for how to deal with child clutter. 

But I do have a few things that we do and they seem to be working. 

First, we have a "red box" for each child. This very clever name came about because of the color of the totes I bought them. I am extremely creative. ;)

The most basic purpose of these boxes is to be a catch all for things that come into the house: school work, papers from church, and coloring pages from library story time, postcards from grandmas, Popsicle stick puppets, sticker charts that they have completely finished earning and the child just cannot stand the thought of throwing that special paper away, etc. The list goes on. When these things come into the house, often children cannot part with them. They have so few things that they get to call the shots on and so having an entire box of their things is wonderful and emotionally safe. I decided years ago to not fight about things like this because it just does not matter. But it does matter if it takes over my house and I do not want to spend time fighting about it being all over their rooms either. 

This is a picture of the contents from a box. My youngest dumped her box out recently and wanted to "clean it out" like the bigger kids. I sneaked a few things off to save and to trash and she was entertained going through everything by herself for a good hour. Win/win!

I put four of these totes on some storage shelves in our mud room and the kids know that is their place for all papers and stuff. I also put a label with their name on each tote, but that is truly more for me than for them. They know which tote has their special stuff in it. 

Once every 5 weeks (it matches my cleaning rotation and lands on my mud room day) the kids have to take some time on cleaning day and clean out their red boxes. (While I do help my kids if they ask, this is on their chore list and they start cleaning when they are ready.) 

For my older kids this is getting to be quite easy because they are not as attached to the spelling tests that come home as my kindergartner is to every scrap of paper she has ever drawn on. Anything that is truly special to them they give to me and I decide if it deserves to be in a scrapbook or if it just needs to be tossed when everyone is in bed. They often choose to ditch the things I would say to get rid of (like broken "special" toys) and anything else gets put away where it actually belongs. 

I am not trying to throw away things they just barely got and they are able to learn the difference between trash and treasure for themselves. Everyone wants to keep different things and this lets them choose. 

As my kids have gotten a little older I have also let each one have a "treasure box" in their room. We have some shelves in the closets in our house and each child has one shelf for their stuff. Whatever fits in those boxes - which are really more like paper file trays - they can keep. Once every 5 weeks (rotates on bedrooms week) they have to clean those shelves out and they are getting very good about putting away their own things and deciding what they want kept away from younger siblings in the toy room and what they no longer care about.

(Here is some brutal honesty for you. Yep, I let this happen. But it is so worth it because of the choices they are learning to make, the habits they are making to keep the rest of their rooms fairly picked up, and we do not fight about things like this. Could I be more "in control"? Sure. But, why? There is so little they are able to choose for themselves, why not give in on the "small" things?)

(One of my boys loves the clean feeling he gets when doing this and can sometimes be found cleaning out and organizing his treasure box without being told. He may be my child.) 

Another tool we use nearly every week is our box in the hall closet. When the kids find a piece of clothing that is too small (and still in good condition) they know they can just put it in this box and I will take care of it. (And sometimes they get to help sort the contents because they are lucky like that.) For me this task comes up every 10 weeks - "clean out clothes in hall closet" - on the entryways/halls/mudroom week. I sort the clothes into items to give to my sister and items to give to friends and the rest I generally will give to a thrift store. Sorting out this box doesn't take long because it's not that big. It teaches my kids that others can still use what they don't completely trash and how to sort out their drawers and closets a little more by themselves each year. 


What do you do to control all the STUFF that comes into your house from your children?