All The Little Things

Last summer my husband came home from work one day and within about 20 minutes had interacted with each child, noticed their lips and told them to go put on some chapstick. After telling the fourth child, he finally said, "I bet if it was on their list, they'd remember". It's true. They would. That week I added it to their chore list and had a light bulb go off for me - I write down everything I want to remember for myself, why not for the children?

I had broken down their chore lists for years into simple and easy steps - dressed, put away clothes, brush teeth, floss, etc. Nothing was stacked together and so it was easy to find out which step was forgotten when going over their lists. However, with this one comment from my husband I was able to see their lists as better tools for me to utilize and help them accomplish the things that I would eventually have to remind them of anyway.

Now, no matter how long or short the duration of a task might last, it is just helpful to add it to their lists and turn that responsibility over to them. One example is when my husband planted lettuce in the spring, our sprinklers were not on yet and he gave the chore to water the lettuce to my 6-year-old. She really wanted to water the lettuce, but when dad came home and asked if she had watered, more often than not, she hadn't. I went to add the reminder to my list, when instead, I just added it to hers. Miraculously she began to remember everyday to water that lettuce.
We need the peas, blackberries and strawberries picked regularly in the summer. Those chores are always put on my list and then I have to do it myself or remember to remind one of the children to go pick those. I finally remembered to add it to their lists - and shared the fun around with everyone - and now, like magic, I am having to remember half the summer chores that I usually do.
A new chore we started at the beginning of this year is to "Pick Up Your Things Around House" - which very clearly means walk around the house and gather the things you left around and put them away. It is still a tricky concept with the youngest one (half the messes in the house belong to her), but I am having to remind my older children less and less to take their traveling belongings back to their room. And I think it is helping to create a habit (fingers crossed) because last night I watched my two oldest take their things from the table to their rooms without me saying anything on their way to bed. They weren't even looking at their chore lists! I am hopeful for this story to develop. 

Whether it's helping them remember to put some lotion on those poor dry feet, or to please take their dirty laundry to the laundry room, having the small expectations, along with the big, laid out for children is a great way to take more of the reminding off your plate and help them to learn the skills they need about paying attention and how to help them remember things expected of them.