My Favorite Parenting Book. Ever.

In her amazing parenting book "The Parenting Breakthrough", Merrilee Boyack gives a basic philosophy of parenting that values the children, the parents and the family as a whole. 

Principle #1 - You are not responsible for making your children happy all the time. In order to raise good adults and not just good children, we must not give into the overwhelming idea that we must always be creating the perfect, happy life for our children. 

Principle #2 - The best self-esteem for children comes from being able to do things on their own. This is tough, because while we want our children to be able to do hard things, we often cannot let go enough to let them actually attempt the hard things. From learning how to tie their shoes, spreading peanut butter on a piece of bread to learning how to interact with adults in a positive way or be responsible for getting themselves home on time, we must sometimes let the natural consequences of life fall. Often, Natural consequences are neither good or bad - they just are what happens. Be okay with letting your children learn and grow. 

Principles #3 - Remember that we are the parents and we are in charge. One of my favorite quotes from the book is: "There are no functional children on the planet who willingly run to their parents and ask if they can help. Kids do not love doing chores." (The Parenting Breakthrough, Merrilee Boyack.)  And then she talks about developing a backbone. We all need reminders of this from time to time. If you are helping to guide your children and letting them stretch just a little every year, there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting them learn and help out around the house on a consistent basis. 

Before I read this book I already shared many of the author's thoughts and feelings about parenting, but reading her book gave more eloquent wording to those thoughts.  
If you are looking for the one amazing parenting book that will not take too long, is funny, and does not leave you feeling hopeless about your situation, read this book. There is also an amazing list of age-appropriate chores in the book that may help you get started in thinking about what your children are actually capable of. 

Millions of parents are going through the same things you are on a daily basis. Take comfort that you are not alone. The goal is not to raise good children, but good adults.